If Only
by Terrahfry
Summary: Slash! Bender regrets what he should of said. Now Fry is with Leela and hope seems lost. One-sided BenderxFry, FryxLeela. Not funny really, contains fluff. Some dirty words. Spoilers for 'BwaBB' & past episodes. All chps Revised! Done!
1. Am I wasting my time

**First the all too familiar disclaimer: I don't own Futurama or the characters, I have nothing to gain. Okay, this first thing is a song I wrote for whatever reason. I hope you don't think it sucks too bad. Then I had another story idea. None of it fit into the other three. Some of these were ideas and such for 'Of Metal And Flesh' they didn't quiet fit. At first it was gonna be a oneshot at Bender's feelings, but I've decided to do two more after; Fry's and Leela's feelings. It's each in their POV. I stuck the song in first, just because. I don't know if I'll go further after what would I guess be the fourth chapter with Leela, but I might. Stern warning: one sided BenderxFry, FryxLeela and with Leela it's complicated and I am not that far in. I really should stop this madness, but I love to write. "And when push comes to shove you gotta do what you love, even if it's not a good idea." This one has a bit of language, the other usual Bender behavior. The rest is clean (unless you count the "questionable" pairing), the song is clean. Also I know Futurama is funny and sarcastic, but this is not a comedy fan fiction like my other's. This is sorta fluff. The characters may seem a bit off, but I'm doing a lot of it in their POV's so it's like a glimpse inside to their true feelings.**

**

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Am I Wasting My Time?  
****Song for Futurama?  
By: Terrahfry**

_Will you ever love me?  
Or am I just wasting my time?  
I'll always love you,  
but I may change my mind.  
Don't have no purpose._

_I need a reason,  
Or am I just wasting my time?  
I- don't- belong  
I'm not of your kind.  
In this un-i-verse,  
I may be outta line.  
But when I look at you,  
it's myself I may find._

_Time makes fools of us all,  
I don't feel smart right now.  
I think I slept too long,  
time must'a skipped a-round  
You've always saved me from myself.  
But you reject me--  
think I'll let you down._

_Will you ever love me?  
Or am I just wasting my time?  
I'll always love you,  
but I may change my mind.  
Don't have no purpose.  
I need a reason,  
Or am I just wasting my time?  
I- don't- belong  
I'm not of you kind.  
In this un-i-verse  
I may be outta line.  
But when I look at you,  
it's myself I may find._

_I love this future,  
but I wanna go back in time.  
Too many compli-cations,  
that plaque my mind.  
The only thing that keeps me-  
tethered to now.  
Is the fact that I know you're there.  
I guess if I want you-,  
I'll have to stay here._

_Will you ever love me?  
Or an I just wasting my time?  
I'll always love you,  
but I may change my mind.  
Don't have no purpose.  
I need a reason,  
Or am I just wasting my time?  
I- don't- belong  
I'm not of your kind.  
In this un-i-verse  
I may be outta line.  
But when I look at you,  
it's myself I may find._

_My worst nightmare-  
would be to wake up tomorrow  
and find- that it was all a dream.  
I can't live with myself  
though I'm sorry  
for the things- I left behind.  
I just can't exist without you.  
Without pause, I make haste.  
Shudder to believe it's all fake._

_What is my destiny?  
What's my purpose here?  
I feel out of place.  
Self destruction is- my worst fear.  
But because of you  
I've changed my tune.  
Just for you  
I'll stay here,  
That's what I'll do._

_Will you ever love me?  
Or am I just wasting my time?  
I'll always love you,  
But I may change my mind.  
Don't have no purpose.  
I need a reason,  
Or am I just wasting my time?  
I don't belong here,  
I'm not of your kind.  
In this un-i-verse  
I may be outta line.  
But when I look at you,  
it's myself I may find._

_Time makes fools of us all,  
I don't feel smart right now._

**

* * *

It's a song I wrote for Futurama. It reminded me of Fry being frozen for his brain defeating purposes. The love part reminds me more of FryxLeela, but these things happen. It's just the lyrics, I think the tune would sound like a popish techno distortion of the theme, maybe. I dunno. -- hehe, I actually think it's sorta bad. I'z not a song writer :P**


	2. Thoughts of regret

**Bender regrets what he should of said. Now Fry is with Leela and all hope seems lost. **

**

* * *

If Only;  
Chapter two/ 'Thoughts of Regret'  
Rated; T/ L**

(Bender's POV)

I look over at them, they look so happy, but I can't help but feel alone.

They're snuggled up, they're laughing, but I feel like I wanna die.

I should be happy for him. He finally got the woman of his dreams.

He looks over at me. I smile, it's half-hearted, and I turn my head.

Out of the corner of my eye I see her kiss him. If I could, I'd vomit.

I hear him whispering sweet nothings to her, she giggles. It's killing me, and he doesn't even know it.

I wish I could tell him, but I waited too long. I should of told him when I had the chance. But I let it slip out of my reach. Oh, how I wish I could do it all over again.

Fry said it himself once before, _'Time makes fools of us all,'_ and I let it make one out of me. How cruel, fate is.

He had chased her so long till finally, she gave in. I don't know how, I don't know why. She just did.

I hate myself now, I could of told him, but I went at it the wrong way. It's not my fault he's so stupid though.

It was that stupid dog. It was all he cared about, I didn't get it.

Then, I made him cry. I wanted to tell him how I felt, but with everyone around... I feel stupid, that I had felt ashamed.

I told him I loved him, before I realized it. So, I added quickly, _'Not in the way of the ancient_ _Greeks, but the way a robot loves a human, a human loves a dog,'_ and that gorilla and a kitty thing was moronic. If I do say so myself.

I sigh out loud, they heard it, but they don't care that I'm upset. No siree, they're wrapped up in each other.

I had told Fry I loved him... like a pet. Fry knows I see him... like a pet.

I sigh again, there were other times, sure. But I couldn't make myself stop being so... so macho. It's easy to go out with hookers and random naive fembots, but that's not love.

I should of told him when he wanted to move in with Colleen, but I buckled. I asked why she couldn't of moved in with us. Stupid jerk face, she didn't love him. She didn't need him, not like I do.

I should of stopped him when he started up those escalators to go to Yivo. But I froze, I just let him go, without telling him.

Then I risk everything to go bring him home. _'Why do you wanna_ _rescue the human race, Bender?'_ were the taunts of a many robot, who didn't share the rest of our need for our human friend's companionship.

It wasn't about loving, or killing, all humans. I had grown fond of the humans that I now call friends. I had grown fond of him. I couldn't see myself going on without him... even if It's just as a friend.

And still it's all so stupid, loving a monster. _'Yivo has no gender', _puhlease. You can't fool ol' Bender. Yivo was a guy, and Fry loved him. So Fry should understand that love isn't about gender.

He got so upset at me, so did Leela. Said I didn't know what love is, Ha. I know all too well that love sucks.

I see them making out again. I should leave the room, but I just sigh louder, hoping it would get his attention. Nope, he don't see me. He's happy, he has the woman of his dreams.

How can he love that one-eyed jerk? It's not fair. She never saw his worth or importance before. Just kept turning him down. She never saw all the great things about Fry, not like I did, nuh-uh.

She insulted his intelligence, his immaturity. I never did, I accepted Fry just the way his God had made him. Still it was no good.

I remember looking back to Yivo as the space pirate ship took away. I could still see Fry trying to reason with Yivo. I couldn't let him stay, so I went to the bowels of the ship and picked him up with a net through the open hatch.

Still then, I could of told him. I could of told him in private. The moment would have been perfect, but I couldn't. And he was so heart-broken, so upset.

I had run the thought over and over in my head, I was ready to tell him, to hell with the consequence. Then he told me Leela had agreed to go out with him. And I froze again. I just stopped, and the words wouldn't come out.

And their love has grown from there. He's so happy, and Leela.. I guess is content. I sigh again, nope they still ignore me. I guess they view me as a worthless hunk of junk.

He saved my life, you know? That first day in the suicide booth.

Even if it was by accident, he saved my life. He could of ducked, let me get it over with. Course he would've went through the trap door for disposal.

But still he held me back against the wall. I don't know why I let him, I don't know why he did. It was like... fate. Yup, even by accident he saved my life.

Well, it's not like we haven't all saved each other's backsides. But come on, Fry's the only one who climbed a mountain to look for me when I was drifting in space. God himself sent me back to him. I could of landed anywhere, but I landed right in front of Fry. Oh, cruel fate.

I said it before, _'Life is hilariously cruel.' _But I'm not laughing at the statement this time. Cause right now, life has me varily boned.

I know Fry thinks I think his life is unimportant. Stupid meatbag, course I don't think his life is unimportant. I'd never let anything happen to him.

But I've never let him or anyone else know about it.

I liked on the What If machine when I was a giant robot. When the soldiers were shooting at me, I didn't mind. But when they shot at Fry, it set me off. I know it was fake, just a video of what could happen. But I noticed that part.

Fry or no one else did though.

I know I hurt Fry a lot in the past, it's not that I don't care. Look how many times he hurt me. Did he care? No.

I mean after I admitted to him that he was the first friend I had ever had, he wanted me to move out because of my antenna blocking the lousy satellite reception on the TV.

Fry is the only one who can make me not drink like that.

I hated that second 'What If' about me being human. I mean I don't wanna die in a week, of be that big of a fat ass slob. Guess I'm only good at being a robot. Not that I'm complaining, I love being a robot, baby.... although?

But Fry wasn't much interested in my friendship as a human. Nah, he sees me only as a toy. Not even one that he plays with anymore. _'Bender, leave me alone, I'm busy.'_ He's always ignoring poor Bender. He never asks me about my problems.

My leg is crossed now. I'm swinging it, it makes a 'thump, thump, clang', as it hits the table leg. They don't seem to notice, they're lost in their lovey dovey crap. I find it offensive.

And yet, I want it so much. I want him to love me the way he loves her. I know it will probably never happen... but maybe if I had of told him.

But I guess it's too late now.

"Huumpf." I didn't notice I growled out loud. Leela gets up, Fry looks over at me. I'm tapping my metal fingers on the table. I think he sees I'm bored now.

"Bender, what's wrong?" He asks. Oh finally he asks me what's wrong, took him long enough.

"Whadda you care, meatbag?" I reply. Why do I always do that? Why do I talk to him so hateful and call him names? Must be in my programming.

"You sound upset. Did I... do something?" Fry asks.

"No, Fry, I'm fine." I say a little less hateful. I don't have to turn my head to know Leela's staring at me. I can feel her eye on the back of my head.

"Well, okay, buddy, you know I'm always here for you." Fry puts his hand on my shoulder. I gaze down at it then up at Fry. He has that goofy grin on his face.

I sigh, he means well. I just wish he could see.... see how I feel. Instead of chasing someone who don't really love him. Leela's just lonely and desperate, so she caved.

I see Fry tilt his head slightly, "Bender?" His expression changes to concern. "Did you hear what I said?" He continues, his voice also with concern.

"Yes, pork pie, now leave me alone." I glare up at him angrily. I wish he wasn't so dumb and could be a little more perceptive. But that will never happen.

My look softens, I sigh, maybe I'm just bitter. I scan his face, taking in his features. I wish I could just take it in my hands and.... but being a robot it's hard to kiss carbon-based creatures.

Sure would be nice if he'd kiss me, I could feel that. Something that felt good, would be a welcome from all of these wretched bad emotions. How do humans cope with this... heartache? How do they keep from leaping off a hover bridge or walking into a suicide booth?

I don't notice Fry speaking to me. "I'm sorry, Bender, I just...." Fry sighs and goes and sits down. I still feel Leela's eye. I get up and exit the room, I'm sick of this place. "See you at home, Bender." Fry calls.

"Later, Jerkwads!" Is my shouted response. See so hateful.

I walk down the streets of New New York, on my way home. It's quiet tonight. Great, all I need is silence. So I can hear the bad thoughts that are running through my infernal head. I hate this artificial intelligence.

Even though it doesn't feel all that artificial. I feel real. I feel like I'm more that a machine, if you will. I wonder to myself what would it be like to be human.

It's just a thought really. But still, eh, humans die easy, but someone told me once that even as a automaton, I am not invincible.

Then my mind wonders to Fry, neither is he. Infact, I'll probably outlive Fry. Hey, my head laid in a ditch for a thousand years, not to mention all the years I spent time traveling for those sleazy naked aliens. Fry will probably never get completely over the fact that I tried to kill him. But all things considered, I guess all things happen for a reason. Damn, that sounded cheesy.

Soon I find myself in apartment 00100100, It's so quiet. I stop at the picture of me dangling Fry off the Statue of Liberty.

I can't remember why I did it. It seems kinda mean. I wasn't gonna let him go. I could've, maybe I should've, he's so ungrateful.

The next thing I know the picture breaks against the wall. I swiped it off the TV. I sat down on the couch, the couch me and Fry usually sit on to watch television. But he really never does anymore. He never has time. I could go back to the League of Robots, but I just don't enjoy their company as much. I respect them in a tiny way, I guess.

Eh, being alone sucks, I wish Fry would get his nose out of Leela's ass and come home. Maybe TV will make me feel better.

--xx--

Two hours have passed and Fry is not home. I'm laying down now, there is nothing on, so I'm just watching whatever. I fail to realize it's a stupid chick flick.

Some dude breaking a woman's heart. I don't realize I'm crying. My tears are running down the side of my face and are making the couch wet. The human female is sitting on her couch crying over this jerk, eating ice cream, feeling utterly hopeless.

Like me. So, I guess that's how humans cope. I wish I could taste things, maybe the method would work for me. I wonder if I could have taste censors installed?

Or just have these bad feelings removed? But I'd loose the good ones. I could erase the memories, but Fry is the only true happiness I've ever had. Without him, I might as well go kill myself, for real this time.

I sit up and wipe the tears from my eyes. Looking down at my hands, I'm contemplating my next move.

What should I do? Should I go ahead and tell him? Tell Fry... I love him? Do I want to risk it?

The answer doesn't seem to compute. I just don't know if I can handle his reaction. I know it won't be positive. Or it will ruin our friendship. And like I said, I drother have him even as a friend than not at all.

But I can't handle the torment of not knowing the truth.

Ohh, Bender, what did you get yourself into? I turn off the tv and lay back down.

Maybe If I shut down for a while, the answer will come to me when I wake up, refreshed.

**

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Next chapter picks up on Fry's POV. **


	3. Life is pretty good

**Fry's POV on the matter.**

**

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If Only;  
Chapter three/ 'Life is Pretty Good'  
Rated; T/ L **

(Fry's POV)

I watched Bender walk away. I know something's been on his mind. But he's too stuborn to tell me. Granted Bender has never been shy about his feelings. Hey, if he's angry he lets me know. If he's upset or scared, he cries.

He's the only robot I know who releases these emotions. Most of the time it scares the hell out of me. Oh, not the emotions, just the way he acts.

Especially when he acts likes he's hiding something. Then I wonder if he's stolen things from me. Or sold me into slavery.

He's never done that, but I wouldn't put it past him.

I gaze over at Leela. I can't believe she said yes. She's finally mine.

_'Aw, gee that sounds great. Leela's mine, Leela's mine, hehehehe.'_

I allow myself to relish that for a moment before I flop down on the Planet Express couch. Who knew that a lazy slob like me would have it so good.

Granted, my life is far from perfect, but compared to my life before I got frozen... huuh, who needs Michelle when I've got Leela? Who needs to deliver stale pizza when I deliver stuff to other worlds? Also in a spaceship. Ah, my childhood dreams have come true.

I do miss my family though. But it's like Michelle told me, they didn't even bother to search for me. At least these strange alien creatures look for me when I go missing. Well, when they finally notice. But that's not the point, I guess.

Yup, life is great, or at least okay. I guess. My best friend is a robot. And the coolest one ever.

Still, living in a robot's closet is strange. Especially when people ask you where you live. Wait a second, maybe one day Leela will ask me to move in with her. Yah!

I mean she could move in with us, but she hates our apartment. Something about not being able to move for something about trash.

Oh well, maybe we could just get an apartment or whatever together. But wait what about..? Nah, he won't mind... will he?

He was trying to tell me something. I wish I knew what it was... Oh, well, time for TV.

--xx--

About, I dunno 30 minutes later, Leela reenters the room, I believe she was working on the ship. She kisses me on top of the head. I look up at her smiling.

"Well, Fry, I'm heading home, shouldn't you be heading home as well?" She asks. I shrug

"Why can't I go home with you?" I say, trying to sound suave, I raise my eyebrow up at her.

"Fry, let's not rush this okay." She replies.

"Oh, okay, well see you tomorrow." Well now I feel foolish. What else is new? I watch Leela leave. Guess I better get home, Bender might be worried. But probably not. At least if he goes to sleep early, he won't let me back in.

"Hey, you lousy greensnake, what are you still doing here?" I hear Hermes behind me.

"Hermes, why are you still here?" I ask back.

"Eh, paperwork ran a little long, not that I mind. Labarbara will though. She'll be steamed more 'dan a greensnake in a sugar cooker. Well, see you later." Hermes walked out.

I'm scratching my head trying in vain to make heads or tails of what the hell he just said. Oh, well.

I get up and stick my hands in my pockets, I say goodbye to Hermes as I leave and he locks up and heads for his car. I don't know why I didn't bring the hover scooter. Eh, Leela says it's good to walk. Whatever.

I look around the streets of New New York. All the lights and the transport tubamagigs. It's still so awesome. I never stop being amazed at the future. A guy wizes by on a jetpack.

_'I wish I had one of those.'_

The company has plenty for emergencies and such, but they wont let me have one. Something about endangering the well being and something about others.

Whatever, they think I'm stupid, one day I'll show them. I know they're just looking out for my well being, but they don't have to be so... they don't have to treat me like I'm a dumb kid. I'm 25 for pete's sake.

_'Wait, how old exactly am I?'_ I ask myself stopping on the side walk.

I never thought about it. I've been frozen so many times, and sent back in time. And there was that time when we turned back into our childhood selves, and went into that fountain-doodle to become adults again.

I know my nephew was older, but he stayed in longer. Maybe I should remember to use that age thingy on myself to find out. If I had never come to the future, I'd be about 34, I think. I don't feel that old.

_'Ohh, thinking about stuff like this hurts my head.'_ I resume walking and allow my mind to wonder about whatever.

My mind goes to Bender, _'Why does he have to be such an ass?' _Okay, he wasn't always, but here lately he's been more cruel and cold towards me.

Hey, it's his fault all the humans are back in the universe. He attacked Yivo. I still don't know why he did.

All he ever yammers about is; killing all humans. Well he was free of humanity, also various types of alien. Yup, the whole planet Earth was nothing but robots. He should have been happy. He got his wish.

We were happy, I think. I was happy. Heaven had it all. Immortality, uh.. all the Slurm I could drink. And I never had to worry about having a heart attack. Plus those clouds were so soft. And no one fought, no one called me dumb, or stupid. Or meatbag.

Yup, it was paradise. There was no violence, I guess that would have became old and boring after a millenia, but there was plenty of snu-snu. I giggle at this thought.

I loved Yivo. I sigh, I don't why, I just loved shklee. It was strange sure, but love is strange, or so I've been told.

Stupid Colleen, why did she have to be such a slut? I loved her, I poured my heart out to her. I risked a lot for her. One man was never enough for her. Then she steals Yivo. I should be more upset, I guess. I don't know why I'm not, exactly.

Infact, sometimes I secretly wonder, _'did I really love either of them at all?'_ I don't know how to answer. Maybe I've just grown desperate. I see so many people with loves of their own. I wanted that so bad.

To be in love with someone and have them love me back. I was beginning to think it was too much to ask. But my dark cloud has a silver lining. I have Leela.

Turanga Leela, the love of my life. She's the sole reason, I stay in the future. Oh, don't get me wrong, I love the future, but sometimes it makes me wanna run to a different time. Back to the year 2000, or even to the year 4000.

I tried that once before with Michelle. Ugh, she was so ungrateful. She didn't see what I was willing to sacrifice for her. She didn't care. Only till it was too late did I see the mistake I had foolishly made. I'm so glad I didn't really end up in the year 4000.

I wouldn't have Leela. I wouldn't have my friends, or Bender. Then again, he's a robot, so maybe I would of seen him again. Hey, his head laid in a hole for a thousand years.

But Leela would've been dead by then. Leela, the sole reason I stay in the year 3000. Okay, we've had our rocky moments, but that doesn't matter now, 'cause I have Leela.

I'll never forget the stuff we've been through. I'm glad I never gave up. Even when I probably should have listened to Bender and forgot about ever having a romantic relationship with Leela.

I was starting to feel he was right. I had done everything to show her I loved her. I wrote her a love note in the sky, and it got blew to oblivion. Any other explosion, I would've found cool. But that one made me feel like my heart was exploding.

Being rejected by someone you deeply love, it's the worst pain ever. I never felt like Leela was like Michelle. Leela was never one bit ungrateful. She just... I dunno, thought I was too immature.

Still it made me feel lousy that she gave those other losers a chance, but I was too immature. I mean, Alcazar was a pig. And he got to have Leela, I hear myself take a gulp, in more ways than one. She was gonna marry that jerk.

And of course there was Zapp Brannigan. She slept with that loser, and I really can't rub her face in it. 'Cause she's paid for it ever since. So I don't say nothing.

I stop and look up at the half moon. It's covered slightly by a cloud. It's sort of chilly and I can feel it stinging my eyes. It's been too hectic lately to take in the simple things. Like watching TV with Bender. That was one thing about being with Yivo.

No TV. Yivo didn't want us watching TV. Shklee claimed it took time away from shkler. I didn't mind that much. You make sacrifices for love.

Sirens can be heard a few blocks away. I listen for a moment. Maybe there will be a shoot out. And then gun shots. Yup, toldja. Can't wait to hear about it on the news. Morbo's opinions may be horrible, but at least he's not boring.

I continue on my way home, the street lights guide my way. One above me blinks out as I walk past it. I turn my head back to see it blink back on.

I see the apartment complex come into view. I'm actually kinda lucky that Bender took me back in. He always welcomes me back at least when a girl kicks me out. It's his apartment he could kick me out on the street anytime he wanted. But he never has.

Soon I find myself at our door, I start to knock for Bender to let me in. I sorta never got my key back after I left for Yivo. The door, to my shock, opens right up.

I find Bender asleep on the couch, the TV is off. I find myself smiling, I don't rightfully know why.

I should give him more credit, he's always here for me. He's never let anyone besides himself hurt me. I know I'm a dumb human to him, just a inferior meatbag. A pet really. But he always welcomes me back home.

I look over at that picture of him dangling me by my foot off the Statue of Liberty. I wonder to myself why it's broken?

I pick the photo up out of it's broken frame. I remember we had argued about if you dropped a penny off the side, would it hurt someone. I said it would.

He said it wasn't possible, he had tried it before.

Finally he wanted to prove his theory so, he held me over the side to make any pennies in my pocket fall out.

Somehow the discussion turned to would a human fall faster than a penny, he wanted to find out. But he got bored with the idea, and of waiting for anything to fall out of any part of me. So he put me back down. He decided not to let go.

I put the picture down and I see Bender shivering out of the corner of my eye. He must be cold. I don't see how he can feel things like hot and cold, but he can.

I walk into the bedroom and fetch a blanket and cover him up.

"Good night, Bender." I whisper. Bender mumbles something I didn't catch.

I wonder do robots dream? Well, that first night I spent here, Bender said he was having a wonderful dream. So, I guess they do. I have to remember to ask the Professor if they do or not. I would ask Bender, but he's liable to get pissed.

I walk into the bedroom again and toss off my jacket and pants. It's sorta cold tonight so I'll keep my shirt on. I get in bed and wrap up in the sheets.

I wanna get to sleep quick so I can get up and be at work early. I wanna show Leela I can be mature.

**

* * *

Next one is in Leela's POV. Tell me how you feel my darlings.**


	4. Someday when

**Leela's respective POV.**

**

* * *

If Only;  
Chapter four/ 'Someday When'  
Rated; T/ L**

(Leela's POV)

Not a single day goes by that I don't think about him. I'll never forget him. I'll never get over it completely. Lars Filmore was the only man I'll ever love.

He was charming and kind. Not a jerk like Zapp. He treated me like I was a goddess. I hope Nudar burns in hell for what he's done.

I look at Fry and I can't believe that he... was Lars.

It doesn't seem possible. Yet it's true. Professor analyzed a blood sample from Lars before he was buried. It was a perfect match to Fry.

Sure Lars had Fry-like qualities; he was handsome, and kind, and treated me like I was special. But Lars was different from Fry.

Lars was smart, and Fry? Let's just say he's short a few bananas to make a miniature fruit tree.

I know Fry loves me. I'm just not fully ready to admit I love him. Well, I do and I don't.

I love Fry because he loves me. I feel terrible, but everyone has a need to feel loved. Being abandoned by your parents and left alone in an orphanarium, makes you feel like no one will ever love you... or want you.

But Fry did love me, he looked past my eye, and all my other faults. He just accepted them, without ridicule.

Fry wanted me despite my flaws. He never made me feel... different.

And yet he loved me because I was different.

I stare at Bender, he and Fry are talking. Bender seems upset, but he's always an ass. Fry is trying to make him open up. Bender is calling him names. Then I watch the robot leave.

"Later, jerkwads." He shouts as I hear the sliding door close behind him.

I shake my head, I don't know what his problem is. He's always been an ass, but lately he's been, I didn't think it was possible, but he's been more evil.

He will sit gazing at Fry or me with a look of cold hatred. It's starting to scare the hell outta me. Fry will ask him what is wrong and he'll just insult him and walk away.

I have noticed a change in the two of them. Bender and Fry used to be so close, they were best friends. They hung out and watched television, laughing, cutting up. But now... they don't even go out for beers. If Fry isn't with me, he's by himself, or with one of the other crew member's working.

I don't know if Bender has any other friends besides Fry. There was that silly 'League of Robots', he didn't want anyone to know he was a member of, but that's about it. He has no interest in anyone's time, but Fry's. Well, unless it's to steal from them. If Bender weren't straight I'd suspect something, but I know better.

I walk into the hanger, leaving Fry to watch TV. I'd like to be watching TV, but I have to recalibrate the engines. I pick up a wrench and move it to the table. Going over in my mind the task at hand.

But my mind... wonders back to Lars. I wish he hadn't died. I wish he was still alive. You don't have to tell me, I know it makes me sound so selfish.

It's not that I don't feel terrible. I just can't look at Fry without thinking about Lars. I don't know, I had it in my head, that maybe one day, Fry would mature. Maybe someday he'd be Lars. And I could have him back.

Like I said, selfish. I feel bad because, my love for Fry doesn't expand past the love of a dear friend. But still I loved Lars and Lars was Fry. I don't know why, I don't know how.

I wish I still had Nibbler around to explain it. I know he could. The time code was on Fry's ass, I'll never understand why. It makes you think, or at least it makes me think.

Why did it all happen in the first place? I have accepted that fate has some odd plans, but no matter how bizarre, there has always been a reason for them happening.

It's like the first day we all met. Fry was unfrozen and he ran from me trying to escape his fate. His future. Not willing to accept it. He showed me I could make my own decisions. That maybe... maybe fate was not immanent. Maybe I could chose my own destiny.

He told me of how he met Bender in the suicide booth. It's strange, but it was like it was meant to happen. He saved Bender's life. He saved my life. And no matter how many dangerous missions we endure. We're together for some odd reason.

It's all worth it, because I felt so alone, and now I have this job. I have these friends, two best friends.

I'm not alone anymore. It's like we all fit come to think about it. I smile, yup it's totally worth it. I take the wrench over and start tightening a loose screw.

Then there was my parents. All I had wanted or wished for my whole life was to know them, to have them, to love them. And Fry helped me find them. I was gonna mistakingly kill them!

They didn't want me to know the truth. Fry showed up in the nick-of-time to save them. To save me from making a mistake I would've regreted for the rest of my life.

And now I know my parents, I have my parents, I love my parents. All thanks to Fry. I never told him how grateful I am to him for what he done. All he's done for me.

I could compare him to everyone else, but that would be daft. Fry is no Zapp and that's a good thing. Fry saved me from marrying Alcazar. Once again from the destiny I thought I had to cave to. If Fry hadn't of went looking for the truth, I would've made a terrible mistake.

There were so many guys that hurt me. Broke my heart and made me break their face. But Fry was always right there to make me feel like I was better than them. That they were jerks. He was always right. He even brought Lars back to me.

He wanted me happy, I guess that's the whole point of love. Wanting the one you love to be happy first, and you second. Fry has always done just that.

Still if he had've not brought Lars to the Cryogenic lab. He might still be alive. But it's not his fault. I don't blame him. It's just so weird. It was like fate. It was meant to be. Me and Lars weren't. Like I said it makes me think; why did it all happen? Why did it have to happen? Why did I have to be put through that hell?

I sigh, maybe someday I'll know why. Or maybe I wont, but it happened. There's no changing it. What's done is done and that's the end of it.

A tear slides down my cheek. I wipe it away and get back to my work.

I look up at the Planet Express ship. There was another time Fry saved my life. It was when the ship got an upgrade. For some incredibly stupid reason Professor thought the ship, his ship, could use a personality. And Bender thought the ship could use a robot lover.

Fry gave me his oxygen, it was sweet really. I'm just glad the Professor got rid of that installment to the ship. All we need is the auto-pilot and sometimes even he is dangerous.

Then the whole Yivo thing happened. One more backlash from the naked aliens and their silly time code. I chose to stay with Yivo, because I can't fathom being alone. So I decide to stay. At least Yivo loved us without discrimination. I didn't want to go back to earth to the robots. I don't have anything against them, it's just robots can be cold-hearted like Bender sometimes is. I need human companionship.

Even though, I did sorta miss that kleptomaniac. Didn't miss him stealing my purse or other variables though.

I don't know why Bender did it. Why he went and pulled Yivo through the anomaly and "rescued" humanity. He's always been anti-humanity.

But I guess that was just another thing that was meant to be. I may never know why. I can't blame Yivo for what shklee did. Everyone in this universe (and several other universes) just wants to be loved and accepted. It's not rash, it's not worth condemning it's human nature, it's alien nature, I guess it's even robot nature.

Still Yivo had shown that shklee was a prude by dumping us all over a mistake Fry made.

I thought the other thing about love was forgiveness. Guess Yivo didn't really love us. But you do crazy things when you're alone and desperate. I know, I've been there. I have a second address and mailbox there.

A thought passes by in my head; Isn't that why I agreed to date Fry? Loneliness, desperation? It's a cruel thought sure, but it's probably the truth.

Although it's partially because I'm hoping he will be Lars one day.

_'Wow, that sounded cruel, gonna have to stop spending time with Amy.'_

It was other things, like what I said about him loving me despite my flaws. I just wish there was away for everyone to be happy.

I secretly was contemplating the idea of asking Fry out to test my theories. And maybe see if my parallel self was right about the date being magical.

But he met Colleen. It was upsetting 'cause I felt like I didn't have anyone left to love me. Fry had forgot me for Colleen. So shortly after the Yivo incident, I went for it.

The truth is, I don't know if it's working out. I hate to break Fry's heart again. I've tried, but I can't force myself to love him, I wish I did, but I can't.

It's sad that my happiness means Fry's unhappiness. I sigh, _'what to do, what on Earth do I do?'_

**

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Okay I know they're short, but I didn't want them to be too long. I know I said there may just be the "Four" chapters. But I have more ideas for this one. So this is not the end. I'm sticking to the sappiness though. Want comedy? Go elsewhere, please. Review please.**


	5. What If

**First big thanks for the reviews, XD! Here is the continuation! **

**

* * *

If Only;****  
Chapter five/ 'What If?'  
Rated; T/ L (sappiness, and some drinking)**

(Bender's POV)

I put my hand on the mirror staring at my robot reflection. I've had way too many strange thoughts recently.

Wondering if I could convince Fry to love me if I was... different? Maybe if I wasn't a manbot or even a robot at all.

I was a fembot once before and Fry got all weirded out. I didn't do it for him though, it was for those stupid gold medals. I can't even be acknowledged as a gold medal winner, 'cause Coilette is dead.

I don't want to go through that hell again though. I mean if these emotions are killing me as a manbot, seeing how as a fembot the least likely thing had me a wreck, I can only imagine what tortures I'd endure as a fembot in love.

Then there was the thought of actually having the reverse fossilization.

I know, it was on the damn What If Machine. But all I'd have to do is tell the Professor to make it. He'd do it out of science.

I don't, however, know what I'd tell him was my reason for wanting to become human. I'm sure I could come up with a good excuse.

But I know Fry's not gay, so I still wouldn't have a chance... would I?

No, probably not. I sigh-- _'damn it why do I do that?'_

Then an odder thought kicked into my mind. What if I had a sex change, then the refossilization?

Fry wouldn't have to know it was me. And he's pretty desperate enough to go with anyone whose interested... well, except me.

Still, explaining my need for doing this would be anything, but a cake-walk. So either way, I'm boned.

And also, there's the other thing; I love being a robot.

But for love, I guess anyone will do anything. I look up staring into my own yellow eyes.

"I've made up my mind!" I exclaim aloud to myself.

--xx--

I find myself at the Planet Express building, I find Captain Cataracts in the downstairs laboratory, near the hanger.

"Professor! I need you to make the reverse fossilization thing like in the what if video." I reply.

The old man looks at me like I'm eighty feet tall.

"Wha...? Bender, why in Satan's name do you want me to do that?" He asks.

"I wanna be a human." I simply reply, trying to remain as calm as I can.

"Why? You do realize that even if it can be accomplished, it's not only dangerous, but it would be irreversible." He explains.

"I don't care." If I breathed, I would so be holding my breath, hoping he thinks it's one of my scams.

"Bender, this kind of thing is so dangerous that I simply can't do it. If something were to go awry you could die." He puts his hands on his hips and stares at me.

"Uh-huh." Is my nonchalant reply.

"Well, I'll get started." he turned to walk away.

"Whoa whoa whoa, wait. I though you said you wouldn't do it 'cause it's too dangerous." I cock my eye at him.

"Too wha..? Bender, I must do this in the name of science. And if you aren't willing to cooperate, then I'll find another robot. Oh, my yes.." He walked off gesturing with his hands in the air, mumbling to himself like a mad man.

I scratch my head, shrug, then walk off satisfied that Professor wasn't suspicious, and was willing to encourage me in my quest.

--xx--

Two days have past the refossilization thing is still not finished. I've noticed however that Fry and Leela have been spending time apart. This is good news to me, since I don't have to be tortured with seeing them together. Also, Fry has been at least paying some attention to me.

The bad news, however, is it's only to whine about Leela. _'Leela this and she's so great and blah blah blah...'_ It's killing me. I feel like I'm melting from the inside out every time he brings up how much he loves her.

Why can't he see..? That daft idiot. Why he can't see that.. I love him? Why can't I tell him? I've never been shy before. But with Fry, I have so much to lose. At least with my previous girlfriends, it was just sex, or a simple attraction. I didn't have a close friendship with them, nope.

I have a friendship with Fry. Fry was my first real friend. I can't stand the thoughts of losing him.

Fry is siting next to me going on about Leela. I want him to shut up. He thinks he knows torture. Well when he told Leela he loved her, and she didn't share his feelings back, it didn't change that they were great friends. But my situation is far more complex. We're both guys!

If I tell him I risk him freaking out and not wanting to have anything else to do with me. But if I keep on living like this I may accidentally self destruct.

I lean my head on my hand as my elbow is propped up on our couch. I can't really believe I actually got him to sit on it with me. My head faces forward I'm watching him from the corner of my eyes. Studying his troubled features. He's talking, but I'm having a moment where I can't really tell what he's saying.

Every now and again I nod so he'll go on talking and not get bored and leave me. He waves his hands in the air adding motion to his story.

I've accepted that he loves Leela, I just can't accept, why.. Then I frown. I know why, the same reason I love him. Because no matter what you do, or how you live your life, or what you preach to anyone who'll listen; you can't choose who you love. It can't be done.

"Bender, what should I do?" I finally hear Fry ask, he sounds so desperate.

"Huh, what?" I perk up.

"What should I do?" He repeats.

"A..bout what?" I ask slowly, he knows I haven't paid a bit of attention to his words. Though he probably doesn't know that I have paid attention to him.

"You never listen to my problems. Why do I bother? I'd be better off discussing this with Zoidberg." Fry sighed.

_'Ouch that remark was deep.'_ I see him slump down in the seat, his head bows down and he is silent.

He looks utterly hopeless, like that chick I saw in that movie. I know Fry is hurting, I know how he feels. I want so badly to share this, but I can't.

I want to hold him, but I'm afraid to. So I sit there motionless, just staring at him.

"Fry... uh, you... want a beer?" I finally offer. The human shakes his head no.

"No thanks, It's not gonna help me." He softly says. Wow, he is taking this hard.

"You.. uh, want some ice cream?" I ask thinking of the movie.

Fry slowly shakes his head no. "Bender, I know you don't like this topic, but I feel like...."

He stops and looks up at me finally. He sighs deeply then bows his head again.

"I feel like my whole world is coming apart. I lose everytime I try. I'm a loser, Bender. That's all I am." Fry wipes a tear away as it slides down his cheek.

"Fry... you're... What makes you.." Finding the right words are difficult.

"I mean, Leela is so wonderful, she really is. She's incredible, but me I'm just some jerk from the stupid ages. A waste of her time." More tears drop from his eyes.

I watch them, if I had a human heart, my god it'd be broken. I hate seeing him like this, it's killing me.

Fry puts his head in his hands, "I can't lose her, Bender. I..I lost Colleen, I lost Yivo, I lost everything, my family, my...." He sobs a little harder, putting his head in his hands, "I'll never be worth anything. No one would miss me if I died."

I grab his hands with mine gently, he looks up at me, I can't stand this.

"Fry, you're not a loser." I softly say. Fry's eyes and cheeks are wet from his tears.

"What?" He looks at me stunned.

"You're not a loser, and if those other jerks don't think so, then they're the losers. Anyone who doesn't think you're great doesn't deserve you." I honestly say to him. He still looks at me like I'm gonna break out laughing.

"Bu.. but Bender, you always called me a loser, you were right, I see that now.." Another tear rolls down his cheek.

"I-I'm sorry, Fry. I shouldn't of called you that, It was..look, Fry, you're the first friend I ever had. The first real one anyway. If you died well I..." I gaze at him, he stares back, waiting for me to finish. "I'd miss you."

"Bender, I..." He stops and hugs me. I'm taken aback by it at first. Fry hasn't hugged me in a long while. I gently hug him back as he cries. I know he's been ignoring me recently, but I don't think I've been a good friend much either.

I let him stay like that, it feels nice just getting to hold him. Just being near him.

I don't really know what to do now. I don't want to be heartbroken, but I can't stand to see him upset. Apart of me wants to find Leela and tell her how stupid she is. How damn lucky she is to have someone so great to love her. But if they work out, then my situation is hopeless. Then I lose. Fry finally lets go and straightens up, he wipes the tears from his cheeks.

"What should I do, Bender?" He asks again sniffling.

"What if.. what if Leela maybe, isn't the right person for you?" I ask very slowly.

"I've tried other women, Bender, Leela is the only girl I'll ever really love." Fry replies.

"Well, Angelyne was the only fembot I thought I'd ever love, but I found new love." I look away.

"Really? Who?' He asked curious,

"Uhhh, that's not important. I mean what if you should give up on human women?" I ask.

"And do what? Date aliens? I tried that, I tried a mermaid, I tried a fembot." Fry sighed,_ 'Man he is dense.'_

"You sure? There aren't any other options?" I ask hopeful.

"No, but thanks for listening, Bender, you're a great friend." He sighs as he gets up, I watch him walk away, I'm at a loss. I want to just tell him, but I... I'm scared. Stupid skintube, I've been messed up since I met him.

I get out a beer and look down at it. Usually I don't like to drink when I'm upset, but I need to have full mental capacity to figure this out. I pop the top and take a long drink.

Apart of me doesn't see the point in becoming human really, If Fry doesn't love me back, I'm stuck like that. But even if Fry loved me now, even if we were together, it would be hard to do anything. I can't even kiss him really. Being human would make it easier. I stare at the bottle, reliving in my head what I had beheld on the What If Machine, I wanted to know what it'd be like to be human.

My excuse was stupid; robots don't have emotions. Well, I like them to believe we don't. That's a cold lie. Or at least in my case it is.

I dunno 'bout other robots, you just don't go up and say "Hey, you got emotions?" So, I can only speak for myself. Lingo like that would get me magnecuted.

I take another drink, taking all the liquid this time, I drop the empty glass bottle on the floor. My mind trails back to the fake video. God, that was a retarded answer. It made the fleshpoids believe I have no self control. Whatever. I fold my arms, then my look softens.

Well, really I guess I don't show them much any different. If I do this, I must not get carried away, this means not over eating, not drinking too much, I'll have to be more careful. Or I'll die and won't have a chance in Robot Hell with Fry.

_'Hm, when I'm human, I can eat ice cream when I'm depressed at least.'_ I turn on the television, put my arms behind my head, and lay back.

**

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Okay the reverse fossilization thing shows up in 'Anthology of interest 2, ' also in a couple of other stories I have read where Bender is turned human, twice I call this refossilization, this is not a spelling error. I actually believed it was called defossilization for an odd reason, well I don't watch that one much, I love Futurama, I love every episode regardless. But I think it was daft to make Bender into Homer Simpson, then kill him. Too much silliness for the mood I've been in. But then there's the debate on if the 'what if' simulations would be accurate to the series, but that's why it's called 'what if'. "If" the biggest word in the English language. **

**Okay, that aside, I understand and accept that readers will think that Bender doesn't sound like Bender in this chapter, I have always tried to remain true to the characters just the way Matt G. made them. But come on, this is a "Fan Fiction" it's a story. Like I said I want fluff and compassion. Fry will never love Bender back ever if he continues to be so harsh to him. Plus anyone whose watched 'BwaBB' knows that Bender's lonely side has made itself visible. This chapter was to reunit Fry and Bender as friends and for me to write a touching moment and have Bender become more comfortable with sharing his emotions. Forgive me anyway, it was wrote when my emotions were going wild. Just stick with me and review.**


	6. Human Desires

**First, thank you to the reviews I have received. I get nervous when I don't receive any, so even the shortest "great story" is super appreciated. One other thing: bear with me please, it gets bumpy. **

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* * *

If Only;****  
Chapter Six/ 'Human Desires'  
Rated; T/ L **

(Fry's POV)

"....No one would miss me if I died." I cried into my hands. My heart thumping in my chest. The painful rhythm of it breaking. Bender grabs my hands.

I sit looking at him a bit surprised. In his eyes I see what I have never beheld before, not ever. Compassion. It's like he gets where I'm coming from.

"Fry, you're not a loser." He says, there's even kindness in his voice.

I don't know what to say so what comes out is, "What?"

"You're not a loser, and if those other jerks don't think so, then they're the losers. Anyone who doesn't think you're great doesn't deserve you."

I stare at him, I know Bender, any minute I just know he'll break out laughing and throw an insult my way about how pathetic I am. It'd be deserved.

"Bu.. but, Bender, you always called me a loser, you were right, I see that now.." I stop as the crying tries to continue.

"I-I'm sorry, Fry. I shouldn't of called you that,..."

I've tuned him out for the most part though I still hear him. Bender.. did Bender just apologize? Am I going crazy from heartache?

"..If you died well I..." Bender is looking at me with sincerity, I've never witnessed it in him before, well once in awhile, but it quickly vanishes and he's back to his cold-hearted self. "I'd miss you." He finishes.

I sit stunned, would he really miss me? "Bender, I..."

I couldn't stop myself, before I could try, I hugged him. Still worried he would crack a joke or throw me to the floor, but I didn't care. I need this right now, I need him right now.

I wish I could stop it, but I can't, I can't stop the tears as they pour from my eyes. I can't stop the pain in my chest. I can't stop the heartache I feel.

I had cried all last night, desperately searching for an answer. Leela thinks we're making a mistake. She wants us to cool it down. She says she loves me like a friend. But she don't think she'll ever love me like I love her.

I can't bear this pain. Why did she have to do this to me? Why did she do it? She toyed with me. Agreed to give me a chance, but she hasn't really. She still sees me as unimportant, no matter what I do.

Bender is holding me, I don't want to admit it, but it feels, I dunno, kinda nice. No one has held me or comforted me in awhile. No one else in the universe sees how lonely or depressed I am. I thought Yivo did, but the truth is; Yivo used me, Yivo used everyone.

Shklee and Collen deserve each other. Fuck them.

My mind wonders back to the robot whose arms is wrapped around me. Why is he doing this? What does he get from it? He isn't even stealing my wallet, he's just there. Just holding me. Why can't I find a girl who'll hold me like this? Who'll love me like this? My heart slows I feel an odd comfort sweep over me. Not really shocked at what just went through my head.

Finally I sat up and wipe my face.

"What should I do, Bender?" I sniff.

"What if.. what if Leela maybe, isn't the right person for you?"

"I've tried other women, Bender, Leela is the only girl I'll ever really love." I reply.

I hear Bender say something about Angelyne, the fembot that he let Flexo steal from him. The first time Bender showed that he could care for someone else. He let her be happy first, him second-to-not at all. Countess didn't count really. He may of loved her in some way, but he got over her quick and tossed the only momento he had of her in the trash. Proving that robots don't really have emotions... or do they?

"Really? Who?" I asked as he said something about another love.

"Uhhh, that's not important. I mean what if you should give up on human women?" his voice sounds of anxiety, I'm still curious as his love.

"And do what? Date aliens? I tried that, I tried a mermaid, I tired a fembot." I sigh. Bender cocks his eye at me. What is on his mind?

"You sure? There aren't any other options?" He's trying to help.

"No, but thanks for listening, Bender, you're a great friend."

I walk away leaving Bender to sulk by myself for awhile.

--xx--

The next day, I walk into the P.E. building I find my nephew in the laboratory, or one of them anyway.

"Hey, Professor, what are you doing?" I ask curious as to the operating table and all the wires and thingamagigs. Suddenly I get scared. _'What if he tries to give me another lobotomy?'_

"Huh? Wha.. oh, Fry, it's you, this is my new invention, the reverse fossilization machine." He stated very proud.

"Like in the what if machine?" I ask confused.

"Exactly." He hisses still proud.

"But why did you create it?" I ask still confused.

"Create what? What do you want? Who the..? Anyway, you see in normal fossilization flesh and bone turn to mineral, realizing that all I had to do was reverse the process." He explains about the way he did in the video.

"Yeah, yeah. But why do you want to?" My brain is hurting.

"Bender." He states.

My eyes widen, "B..Bender?" I stammer, nervously.

"Yes, that stupid metal moron wants to be human for some crazy reason." He doesn't really look at me.

--xx--

I rush to the lounge where we watch TV, during work. Yup, Bender is on the couch remote in his left hand and beer in his right.

"What is the matter with you?" I ask.

"Huh, what?" He sits up alarmed.

"What do you aim to prove?" I ask.

"What are you talking about, Fry?" He cocks an eye to me.

"The defossilization crap Professor is working on." I say frantically.

"Oh that, uhhh..." Bender gets kinda fidgety. He looks at me nervously and sighs.

"Fry, I need to tell you something, but..."

I put my hands on my hips awaiting the foolish answer he has for doing this. It's probably a scam, or something else really dumb.

Bender stares at me, a look of almost longing in his eyes. _'Holy shit.'_

"Is this about what you told me about being in love?" I ask sitting beside him.

Bender turns off the television. _'Oh god, this is serious.'_

"Fry, you deserve to know, I guess." He replies, nervousness nearly overwelming him.

_'Oh hell, he found someone finally, he's gonna kick me out and I'm gonna lose him just like everyone else.'_ I worry, my heart tightens with fear.

"Fry, I'm in love with someone, someone who might not ever love me back." He says honestly.

"Are. .are they a.. fembot?" I struggle to say.

Bender shakes his head no, well the best a robot can.

"No, Fry.. they're hu...human." He says slowly.

"Human?" I say slowly. My heart tightens more as my mind races to figure out who it is.

"Fry, I have to do this. I can't live..." He stares at me, "I can't live without them. I can't be with them as a robot."

I bow my head. _'No!' _I shout in my head. I wanna shout it out loud, but no words will exit my mouth. _'I'm gonna loose my best friend.'_ I shake my head, my thumping heart makes me feel like I'm dying slowly. I don't know why I feel like this, why this is affecting me?

"Fry? I.."

"Who..who is it?" I softly ask.

"I..I'm not sure I can tell you just yet." He replies.

My face is flushed, I can't describe how I feel in this instance. My eyes look around me as if I'll find the answer lying around the room. I don't see it so I get up and leave.

--xx--

_'What the hell was that?'_ I yell at myself, _'What are you doing, Phil? You should be happy for him. He's your best.. friend. The only true friend you have. Why did you run off?'_

I sit down and put my head in my hands.

_'Why does he want to do this? We all saw the damn 'what if' video, he'll be dead within a fucking week, I'll lose him, in more ways than one.' _

"Fry?" A voice behind me makes me jump.

"Leela?!" I shout startled.

"Fry? What is the Professor doing? Bender is on a table." She states.

"Bender wants to be human again, he's gonna die, Leela." I grab her shoulders gently shaking her, not hard to hurt her.

"What? That dumb ass. What does he expect to accomplish?" She asks.

I look down, staring at my shoes. I don't think I should tell her, it'd be betraying my buddy's trust. I'm not that kind of person, I can't do that to him. I shake my head. In all the shit I've forgotten how upset I am at her.

"Well, let's go stop him." She replies.

--xx--

We make our way to the laboratory where the machine is, I've never been so scared in my whole life, and I've faced certain death.

"Professor? Why are you turning Bender human?" She asks as we enter the room, assuming it's his experiment. It's too late, the switch has been pulled.

Electricity has engulfed the room, I glance around the room then rest my eyes on my friend as he jerks and jolts on the table, screaming at the pain I'm sure he's in. His body reforming before my eyes. I hear the cracking sound of metal becoming bone and all the other junk I don't understand. Bender's eyes are shut tightly as are his hands trying to take the torture.

"Bender!" I yell. I look at him, my heart has stopped I'm sure, I don't feel it no more. I'm dead, I think.

They had a towel over Bender's mid-half, prepared for the imminent nudity. Bender stares at me from human eyes. The thing is complete. I slowly approach him.

"Be..Bender?" I ask. Tears form in my eyes.

"F..Fry, I.." He stops, his voice drained. Then my attention is drawn to the EKG machine which is making a loud buzzing noise. I'm no doctor, but it don't sound good.

"Oh my, no. This isn't good." Professor replies.

My heart stops dead. He's reading something. I turn my gaze back to the former robot.

"Fry?" Bender weakly replies. I grab his human hand, leaning down and staring into his eyes. He struggles to breathe.

"Y..yes, Bender?" I stammer.

"That human.. I told you I.." He coughs.

"Uh-huh?" I can't stop myself from shaking.

"I told you.. I loved. He.. was..." He struggles.

My eyes widen in realization, I didn't notice Leela's did too. Sans the Professor we were the only ones in the room.

"..he was.. you." Bender's voice trails off in a burned out sigh, his eyes rolled back in his head as his eyes shut. The monitor gave a long mournful beep.

"No. No!" I yell hugging him.

Tears are rolling down my face and sticking to my friend as I hold on to him. No pulse, no breath, no life.

"Noo, you can't do this." I yell. I reach for those things to shock him, Leela grabs me.

The Professor gets them and shocks him to no avail.

"No! Leela, let me go, he..." I shout crying.

Leela wraps her arms around me as I struggle, I give in and hug her back, sobbing my heart out.

"Noo, Bender!"

**

* * *

Holy shit, I'm drained! Like I said, bear with me.**


	7. This Is My Fault

**Bender is dead. Fry is trying to accept it, but he only blames himself. **

**

* * *

If Only;  
Chapter seven/ 'This Is My Fault'  
Rated; T/ L (character death/tragedy)**

(Fry's POV)

I stand at Bender's grave in the Orbitting Meadows cemetery. Leela was kind enough to bring me at least every other day. She may be hard on me sometimes, we may have our troubles, but she's still a wonderful friend and human being... errr, mutant, whatever.

I gaze down at the tombstone, I still can't believe it. It's almost if my mind refuses to believe it.

I still expect him to be at home when I reach the Robot Arms when I get off work. I waited up to 4 a.m. one night, truly believing in my heart he'd come home.

But, he never did. He's dead.

He's dead and I can't accept it.

So I spend my free time here. Trying in vain to make myself believe he's really dead.

I kneel at his grave, touching the tombstone that bares his last epitah.

_**Bender B. Rodriguez  
Beloved co/worker and friend  
Born: ??? Died: 9/13/3009**_

I trace the letters that form his name with my thumb. I swallow. _'Why did he have to be so stupid?'_

A tear rolls down my cheek. _'I don't get it.'_ More tears force their way out of my tired eyes. Tired from not sleeping, tired from holding back the tears, from holding back the pain.

_'Why did you have to be so fucking stupid, Bender!'_ I'm tired of holding them back, I let them fall and welcome what ever relief that they bring.

_'Why? Goddamn you.' _I punch the stone, a slight pain runs up my hand, but I don't give a damn.

I hang my head crying louder, crying for the first time since it happened. I just let the tears fall. Hoping, praying, they stop the pain.

I didn't attend Bender's funeral, I'll always regret it. I should've, it's not that I didn't care about him, I just couldn't face it. I couldn't face that he's gone. I hid from everyone in denial.

I curl up, laying down, my head resting on the hard cold stone. The tears still coming, soft sobs becoming louder with the painful realization of the matter coming clearer.

Bender is dead.

My best friend is dead. My chest has started to ache from crying.

This isn't right, it can't be right. I refuse to accept it as right.

There has got to be a way to fix this.

A way to get Bender back.

All kinds of odd things happen in this future.

Why can't I raise the dead? I grab a clump of grass and dry dirt and toss it at air.

Maybe we can clone him, even in human form, at least I'd have him back. Plenty of heads have been cloned... right?

I don't know how it works, but those celebrities and presidents have been dead for years, I'm not that dumb-- brain thing be damned. They're alive here a thousand years into the future. Had to get here somehow, someway, damn it.

Even if it was his head, I'd take it. I need...

I need him. I'm lost here without him.

Oh, god, there has to be a way. Somehow, something I can do.

_'This is my fault. My fucking fault. I did this to him.'_ The thought hurts, stings at me like a bitch, but it's the truth. I see that.

_'I'm the reason Bender is gone. I'm the reason he is dead. He did it for me, all for me.'_ I cry louder.

_'I should'a stopped him. I should'a paid more attention to him. I had no idea what I meant to him. How...'_ I stop and take a breath.

_'..how much he loved me. It's my fault. I have to fix this. There has to be a way.'_ Professor said he warned him that it could fail. He didn't listen. Professor said Bender's heart failed, it refused to beat. Like the process didn't take.

I sit up and turn my gaze up toward the sky. I can't remember which way God is, or even if there is a heaven. After the whole Yivo incident I'm confused on what really to believe.

But I have to believe that I can fix this.

_'God, please, if you can hear me, please, give me a sign. Help me fix this.'_ I pray, I've never felt so desperate in my life. So alone, so broken.

I breathe slowly, my tears have calmed, but I still feel them running down my wet cheeks.

I hear silence and soft air blowing inside the chambered graveyard.

My thoughts are to a minimal, nothing on my mind... nothing but Bender.

And then it comes to me.

What if?....

What if?....

What if Professor could invent another machine, like a fossilization machine? One that would turn human into a robot?

We could dig up Bender's body and turn him back, then once he was a robot again, we could reactivate him somehow. The Professor would know how to do it. He's smart when he can remember who he is. If he succeeds he'd get his medal or whatever for sure.

And I'd have Bender back. If it works?

_'If it works? It has to work, I have to believe it will work.'_

I get up and race back to the ship. Not stopping for nothing, as fast as I can. Past graves, past the guards, to the front.

It has to be done quick or they'll be nothing left of Bender's corpse.

--xx--

"Lee-la!" I pant reaching the steps, Leela is waiting patiently on one of the ship's steps.

"What's wrong Fry?" In her eye is concern.

"Le.." I say out of breath. I take a few slow ones to calm down.

Leela waits for me to say more.

"...let's go home..now." I finally finish. The anxiety I feel can't be matched.

We load up, she doesn't ask questions, that's good. We leave and head for Earth, for New New York, for the Planet Express delivery company.

I'm not telling her my plans right now, I don't want a lecture on how stupid she thinks it is. And I know she'll think it's stupid. But I don't care, it has to be done, I have to have him back.

I look back as we leave the orbiting graveyard, placing my hands on the window of the ship. The stars of space staring back at me in the reflection. But it's beauty doesn't replace the void I feel inside, nope. There is only one thing that can.

_'Don't worry, Bender. I'm gonna set this right, I promise.'_

**

* * *

Yes, it's shorter than usual, but there's more to come. This is sorta a continuation to the last chapter.**

**P.S. The epitah says born ??? b/c there is a debate on Bender's actual age. I don't believe he's four, I think he was being a smartass. And also he reverted back to his youth in that one and he went to 'Bending State'. Don't want to confuse-- I wasn't going for that yet ;)**


	8. Feign Wishes

**Doing things from Leela's point of view is killing me. When I first started this story it was supposed to be Bender's POV only and just be one shot. That took a change as I wanted it to be Bender, Fry, and Leela's respective thoughts on the whole Yivo/Lars thing as a backlash from the last two movies. Before I could write the fourth chapter with Leela, things took a turn and I had myself an even deeper story. Chapter seven was wrote in a car, listening to sad songs on my iPod on a bumpy road, before chapter four was done or chapter five was thought of. Chapter six raped my emotions. I still hope I continue to intrigue and everyone doesn't just run out thanks to me killing Bender. I'm not done.**

**

* * *

If Only;  
Chapter eight/ 'Feign Wishes'  
Rated; T/ L**

(Leela's POV)

Fry has been a wreck, I'll watch him with nothing more that can be described as pity. When I brought him home from Bender's burial site, he broke his neck getting off the ship and to the Professor. Farnsworth was happy to oblige him in making a machine to turn a human into a robot. I watched as his eyes lite up the best they could from behind his thick glasses as he declared that Wernstrom would 'eat it' if this machine worked.

It's been three days and the tired scientist has worked himself nearly into a coma. Fry has been hanging in the lab, shouting at him to finish.

"Come on, come on.. Hey, why are you asleep?! Professor!" I hear Fry shouting from the next room.

I sigh and prop my feet up as I hear a loud explosion and Farnsworth scream.

"Whoops, sorry." Fry replies sheepishly.

"Get out of here, you ninny hammer. At this rate I'll never get done." Professor yells.

A few minutes later Fry walks into the lounge, slumped as usual, hands in his blue jeaned pockets, his head couldn't be bowed any lower. I have never seen him like this, not even over me.

He plops down on the couch, not removing his hands from his pockets, still slouched, I don't think he can get much lower. I take a drink of coffee, I'm gonna need all my strength to deal with this.

I get up and make my way over to the shell of the delivery boy, I say shell 'cause he just doesn't seem like Fry no more. He used to be so full of life. He was happy even in his loneliness, even in his misery. Always laughing, cutting up, and cheerful.

Fry has always had that optimism that anything could happen or could be done. Now he looks as if he lost his best friend. Wait, he did lose his best friend.

"Fry? You doing okay?" I ask slowly, I sit next to him.

He looks over at me, I see his eyes are puffy and red from crying or a lack of sleep, probably a combination of the two. For once I'm not sure how to react. I hate seeing him like this. Fry has always been one of my close friends and regardless of our troubles, I care for him.

"No, Leela, I feel like shit." he replies softly.

"People die, Fry, that's just life, the pain will go away in time." I tried to comfort.

"No, Leela, it won't. I've..." He trailed off and looked forward into the blank television screen. He hasn't even turned it on in weeks. Nothing is helping him. Infact I don't think he's been eating or drinking that much. Maybe enough to keep his organs from failure, but not like he used to.

"Fry, why Bender of all... I mean he wasn't the most noble thing in the universe." I reply.

Fry looks at me like he could tell me off.

"Leela, he was my best friend. The first friend I had in the future." He defends.

"I'm sorry, Fry, I know you miss him, but what are you gonna do if this crazy experiment fails?"

"It can't fail, Leela, it has to work." He glares at me.

"Fry, listen to yourself, if it was possible for a human to become a robot, then people could be immortal." I stare at him with disbelief.

"What the hell is your problem?" He come back angry. "Don't you want me to be happy at all?"

I can't believe what I'm hearing from him. What does he mean?

"Fry, you're not making sense."

"Leela, you broke my heart, I don't think you care that you did, I don't think you can feel. You treat me so heartless. All I ever did was love you, I've died for you and yet I will never be more important than the Mayor's aid or Shawn..." He sighs and looks down.

"I'm sorry, Fry, I should of considered your feelings, it's just you can't make your heart love someone you don't. I love you, Fry, it's just not in the way you want."

"You loved Lars." He snapped.

"Yes, but I didn't know..."

"You wouldn't of gave him a second look if you'd known he was me." Fry interrupted me. The thought never occured to me before and I'm not sure how I should answer it. I can't speak for it. I don't know how I would of felt. Probably disbelief Lars just didn't seem like Fry. Maybe I would of gave him a chance on the fact that I wouldn't of been able to accept it-- that he was Fry.

"Fry, you need to move on, this obsession isn't healthy. I miss Bender too, but he's gone and that's the end of it. You can't possibly think you can bring him back." I state.

"What the hell about those friggen heads in those jars? Lover boy Lars even worked with them." He pointed out. Yeah, he's right, that is a good point. But that involves cloning and other more complicated procedures.

"Fry, you're not trying to clone him, or put his head in a jar. They couldn't do that anyway, Bender didn't have all the right human parts. Besides, the reverse fossilization machine failed, it killed him, what makes you think that Professor can invent a machine to bring him back." I look at him.

"You never believe my ideas will work Leela, why do you even care?" He removes his hand from his pocket and runs it through his hair, which is a mess. I rest my back on the couch, attempting to drop this subject.

It's funny though. Bender told Fry he loved him. I haven't brought it up to Fry, I'm afraid of his reaction. I didn't see it coming. I should have, Bender's so... so possessive of Fry. I'm actually curious as to how Fry's taking it. Did he and Bender, maybe... did they have a thing going, or...?

"Fry, what about... I mean why are you doing this?" I asked.

"I told you I want Bender, my best friend back." He stated. Putting a little emphasis on 'friend'.

"Well, aren't you...." I sigh and look over at him, his eyes stare down at the floor, not at me, "What about... what Bender said?" I finally finish in an almost mumble, surprised he heard it at all.

"I dunno, so he... uhh.. Look, Leela, I don't wanna talk about it, okay?" He looked at me his eyes look so lost, so sad.

"Okay, Fry." I put my hand on his shoulder.

"Leela, I know you don't get it, but this has to work." Fry looked back down.

"Fry, I still don't think it will, but I'm willing to do whatever you need in order to find out." I offer, since I drive the ship, we'll have to excavate the body when it's done.

"Fry, maybe you should go on home and fetch Bender's grave robbing kit, we're gonna need them."

**

* * *

Ohhh, I've hated doing Leela's POV, thought I could pull it off, but it's just that there are so many FryxLeela situations, fan arts, etc. I'm tired of it. I don't mind them, for the love of Futurama and keeping it alive, but I want more FryxBender and there isn't enough-- yeah, I whine a lot :P**


	9. Fake Dreams

**Back on track, thank you to the reviews I have received, especially from Medusa750-- don't get mad for me using your name please, I am very grateful as you have made me feel like I don't totally suck.**

**

* * *

If only;  
Chapter nine/ 'Fake Dreams'  
Rated; T/ L**

(Fry's POV)

"Okay, Leela." I sighed as I got up off the couch, I looked back at her still a little bitter. I exited the Planet Express building and made my way down the street, down to the Robot Arms. I don't get what her problem is. Why she has to be so damn critical of everything. Then she wonders why she's lonely.

She's lonely because she's critical. Nothing is good enough for Leela, no man is good enough for Leela. I take a breath, What did she mean? _'What about what Bender said?'. _What about it? So Bender loved me, at least someone loved me, she sure as hell was never gonna love me. I look around, it doesn't seem that odd. Really I should have known.

I guess I should be more creeped out, my best friend, who is a guy... errr, manbot, loved me, who is a guy, who is human. I still can't get past the fact that I don't have him anymore, to hell with his sexual preferences. I've always accepted Bender and his obsessions before, why stop now?

_'But his obsession was me.' _

Hum, I oddly feel comfort at that thought. _'Bender loved... me.' _

Wow! Someone loves me. I know Bender was anti-human/robot dating, but Bender says a lot of shit he doesn't follow through with. He wanted the human race dead too. But when he had the human race gone as said before, he came and got us back.

I think back to that day, watching as the cables pulled the planet sized being through the anomaly. The robot brigade dressed as pirates began their mission destroying heaven. I begged Bender to stop.

But Bender looked only at me as he told me to shut up he was rescuing me. I told him to go home, he looked at me sadly, _"But I did this whole pirate themed attack for you."_

He did a good job of letting everyone know it was the whole human race, and I suppose the majority of that statement is correct, but looking back it's as if he did it just for me.

A warm feeling washes over me, _'He did it for me.' _

_'He took a space pirate ship and raided heaven to bring me back, yes yes, the rest of humanity as well, but he picked just me up in a net. He wasn't about to let me stay. He didn't care about Colleen as he left her ass behind. It was... romantic?'_

I shouldn't smile, but I can't help it. I approach the apartments and made my way to what used to be mine and Bender's room... err, still mine and Bender's room, I haven't gave up hope yet.

I enter the room, I can still smell the metallic odor Bender left behind, it's oddly comforting. I look around that thought of that day on Yivo still fresh in my mind.

Bender attacked heaven for me. Wow, someone done something romantic for me.

My mind wonders back to Leela, I have done tons of stuff to prove to her how much I love her. Stuff that sounded as if it came out of a cheesy sci-fi romance novel. Did it matter?

No, _'I wasn't important enough', _I huffed and sat down. Once I rest I'll grab the kit and start back to P.E. headquarters, then we can fly to the Orbitting Meadows and dig up Bender.

Leela isn't a bad person, just sometimes she makes me feel like an idiot. I know I'm an idiot, but it hurts when someone you love thinks so. I mean I've died for this woman, I found her parents for her when all hope of her ever having them seemed all but lost.

_'I wasn't important enough', _the thought echoing in my head like a shot from a gun. Leaving a tear like a bullet. A wound I've bled through too long.

I hang my head and a thought occurred _'I am important to someone. I have done everything for Leela including risk life and limb, and yes she has saved my worthless ass a hundred times, but did she ever attack heaven to get me back? Well, she was up there too, but if she had not been, would she ever dare such a feat?'_ A smile crosses my lips.

_'Yes, she would, but only because she's such a great friend. Not because she loves me. Bender.. Bender loves me.' _

I flush red at the thought, confused a little as to why it feels so soothing, so comforting. I don't know how to descibe this feeling. _'Do I? Could I? But I'm not gay...am I? I don't like looking at other men. But this wasn't really a question when I was with Yivo. I mean I'm still not sure what Yivo was. Shklee said shklee had no gender. But I didn't much care, it was more than that. Then Leela presents us with this whole Yivo is mating with us crap. Genticles.' _

I snicker, it's funny, but even after that I still didn't care. _'I mean come on, Yivo was a guy. And that didn't matter, I loved Yivo, I wanted to spend my life with.. him. I guess love has no gender.'_

_'Could I love Bender?'_ My heart races wildly, I'm not sure I like the answer I want to respond with. But when I lost him, I felt like a part of myself died with him. Like I was never gonna be complete or whole again. Bender filled what was missing in me since I came to the future, something I didn't know I needed.

Something I didn't know I'd miss till it was jerked away from me in such a horrible manor. Bender had gave his life to be human to be with me.

I look at the picture of him on the wall, it was his mug shot, he thought he'd frame it and put it up. I wipe a tear from my eye. _'Could I ever feel that way about him?'_ Strangely enough I believe I always have. I was just too stupid to see it till it was too late. _'No, it's not too late, I'm gonna have him back.'_

I grab the robbery kit and headed for the Planet Express.

--xx--

Amy had arrived while I was gone, she was in the lab helping the Professor. Zoidberg was on hand in case there were any accidents to be had. That was a scarier thought than to picture an accident happening-- Zoidberg to the rescue. Me and Leela loaded in the ship and headed for the graveyard. I was assured the machine would be finished upon our return.

Leela sat silently behind the wheel, she knew I was angry with her. But really I've calmed down.

"Fry?" She broke the awkward silence, "Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been a jerk to you. I really am grateful for all you've done for me. I treasure our friendship to no end. I don't see my life without you in it. But it's not fair to you and it isn't fair to me. We're not meant to be. It just won't work out. For it to work both parties need to be happy."

I sat listening to her, "Leela, you don't have to feel bad. You can't make your heart love someone when it doesn't. I drother you be honest with me. It's not fair, but it's why I still want you as a friend."

"I'm so glad to hear that, Fry. I'm sorry, I've been a selfish bitch. And I don't pity you because of your brain thing, or because I think you're stupid. You are who you are and that's why I like you. If I though you were a jerk, I wouldn't hang out with you." She confessed. It made me feel better.

"Thanks, Leela." I smiled.

"I don't want this to tarnish our friendship." She replied.

"Me neither, I'll always love you, Leela." I added in response.

"I know, and I'll always be grateful." She smiled.

"So, what do you, umm.. think about what Bender said? You know, before he died?" It's kinda hard to bring it up.

"Well, I don't think it's all too strange. I mean he was very close to you. You're the only person he was protective of. I mean he wanted to give up being a robot for you." She replied.

"You don't think less of him do you? I mean he.. Bender.. the robot who wanted to be the epitome of robomasculinity, was in love with a human male."

Leela looked at me puzzled.

"Wow, Fry, you expressed that so... Look, I think it's sweet, I don't think it makes Bender less of a manbot. I think it makes him more of one for what he done, and for admitting that to you. I mean it has been incredible what he's done. Attacking heaven... and he died for you. You're the only man whose done anything for me. All the others did was lie to get in my pants. Any living creature male or female, or other gender would kill to have someone love them like that." Leela sounded very thoughtful.

"Leela, would you think less of me, if maybe I loved him back?" I asked surprised I sounded calm.

"Fry, I'm not here to judge you. Besides anything is less disturbing than you sleeping with your own grandma. But, you need to be happy. If this works, and I hope it does for your sake, then you need to tell him how you feel." She suggested.

"So you don't find it weird?" I raised an eye to her.

"Fry, I'm a one-eyed cyclops with mutant parents." She joked, then got back serious. "These days a lot is weird, there is nothing strange about two guys, robot or human, being together."

"You don't think we're gay do you?" I ask playing with my zipper.

"Fry, let me ask you something. Do you still find women attractive?" She asked.

"Yeah, of course." I replied.

"Okay, do you find men attractive at all, Bender excluded." She smiled, but not to make fun.

"No, not really." I replied truthful.

"Well, congratulations, you are not gay." She reassured.

"Really, but what about Bender?" I asked.

"Fry, Bender is not technically a guy, he's a robot. And besides, Yivo was a guy." She answered.

"So, I am gay." I put my head in my hands.

"I'm sorry, Fry, that came out wrong. Yivo wasn't even human, he was something way different. And plus you connected with him before you knew what he was. You loved him inspite of what he was. I believe what you feel for Bender is the same reaction. You connect with him, he connects with you. In any case you both love and need one another and it shouldn't matter what you are. If you became a hermaphrodite, like via one of Professors experiments.."

I had an uneasy look on my face, she saw this.

"..I'm not saying that will ever happen, but if it did, I know Bender would still love you. He loves you, Fry, because of who you are. It doesn't make him gay. It doesn't make you gay. You two fit, like a glove or something." She finished.

"So, you wouldn't oppose it?" I ask, her opinion matters and she knows this.

"Fry, I'd be happy for you. I like Bender a hell of a lot better than I liked Michelle or that slutty skank Colleen." She smirked. I giggle at the statement.

"You really would be okay?"

"I'd kick anyone's ass who wasn't okay with it." She said. I smiled.

"Thanks, Leela. I'm glad we're still friends." I said.

"Me too, Fry, me too." She smiled.

**

* * *

Heart warming. XD. Awe, I like Fry and Leela as friends :) Review, my darlings, see you next chapter.**


	10. Excavation

**As always I am very happy to receive reviews, you guys are awesome. :) I am so sorry this took so long. I was stuck on how I was gonna do it.**

**

* * *

If Only;  
Chapter ten/ 'Excavation'  
Rated; T/ L (grave robbing)**

(Leela's P.O.V)

I landed the ship inside the safety of the oxygen-filled Orbitting Meadows cemetary. I cut the engines and noticed Fry glancing around almost jittery. He grabbed the grave robbing kit and exhaled deeply.

"Fry, if you don't want to do this, I can handle it." I lied, it was a two person job, but Fry's been on the verge of losing it lately. It may be too much for him to process.

"No, Leela. I'm okay." He assured. I nodded.

"Well, let's go get this over with."

Fry nodded back in response. I grabbed a red rose off the dash. Fry stared at me confused.

"What's that for?"

"Oh, it's nothing, Fry." I said sadly. He turns his head and starts to make his exit. If he wanted to guess, nine times out of ten, he'd probably be wrong. I didn't care if he did know, it's just... I know he won't rub it in or anything.

We exited the ship and walked past the guards. I wondered if maybe the tools should be hidden, but the guards just saluted and we kept walking. They've never noticed, or cared, before.

I stop and look off down a path. Fry is a few feet ahead of me.

"C'mon, Leela." He says anxiously.

"I'll be right with you. You go on ahead." I call. I walk down the path making my way to a certain stone. It's been awhile, but I still remember where it is.

I kneel down to it, wiping off a small amount of dust that has covered the tombstone. It reads back at me 'Lars Filmore'. I sigh sadly. I miss him so much. I feel a tear trail down my cheek and drop off on to the sod covered ground. A hand placed gently on my shoulder startles me. I glance back to see that it's just Fry, offering a kind smile.

"I just miss him, Fry. I wish I could lie to you, but I do." I say feeling guilty.

"It's alright, Leela. I know you loved him. It's oddly comforting to know that it was a part of me you loved. I know he loved you deeply. He always will."

I smiled up at Fry. He always could make me feel better. I got up and hugged him.

"Thank you, Fry."

"For what?" He questioned patting me on the back.

"Just for being you." I let go and place the rose on the top of the tombstone.

"You know," Fry starts as we walk away, "if this reverse reverse fossil-thingy works on Bender, maybe we could dig up Lars, and have him turned into a robot."

I give him that 'you're an idiot' glance, glad he doesn't see it.

"Fry, I'm sure that wouldn't work."

"Why not?" He stares at me with a goofy grin.

"Because Lars died as a human, also he was a paradox of you. He doesn't have the correct parts." I explain. "Plus, it's time I just let him go. I'll always love him, but I need to move on. I'll find love one day." I noticed a sort of sour look from Fry. It quickly faded.

"I don't doubt that, Leela." He replied patting me on the shoulder.

We stopped as we arrived at Bender's grave. I glance over at Fry, he's looking down at the stone. I know how it feels to lose someone you love, so I'm sure he's queasy on the inside. I'm sure his heart is to shreds. Scratch that, I know his heart is to shreds. I hated to rush him, but there was a job in need of doing.

"Come on, Fry. Let's get digging."

I stretched out my arm handing a shovel to him. He stared at it appearing troubled. This must be hard for him. He takes it from me almost shaking, but he grips it tight. I watch his knuckles turn white as they are wrapped around the handle.

"Are you okay?" I ask thoughtfully.

"I'll be okay when we get this over with and I have Bender back." He says calmly then follows with a noisy swallow.

I take my shovel in both hands as has Fry, the shovels crack down into the dirt and what little grass has covered the area. It hasn't been that long, but it's been a good while and the coldness of this place has made the ground hard. However, with good old fashioned muscle, at least on my part, we're managing.

As we're shoveling up soil and tossing it aside and out of the way, I realize I have no clue how we expect to get Bender's body out of here without alerting the guards. Stealing items from graves wasn't exactly illegal, I don't think... well, according to Bender... but, I think they'd mind if we stole a human cadaver.

I turn my eye to Fry. I remember when we dug up his 'brother', he had found out it was really his nephew and his brother had named his son after Fry. Fry still visits that grave site to pay respect to the gesture. It's sad, it totally is. That Philip J, Fry went on to be very successful. He was married to a very beautiful woman, or so his bio said. He was in love and loved back, or so the bio said. But this Fry, who is the sweetest guy I know and is so not a jerk, has had more curve balls threw at him than the New New York Mets.

It's tragic if you think about it. How one man can have so much heartache and yet, somehow, remain so full of blind hope. And then when it appeared he had someone to love him, fate came in and jerked Bender away from him in every since of the term.

Fry wasn't his nephew, he wasn't successful, he wasn't that talented. And it's really not that he isn't good looking, Fry's cute. But cute don't get you no where. Fry was even unlucky in love. It almost makes me mad at Bender for waiting so long to tell Fry how he truly felt. And then doing something as stupid as this. I hope this does work, so I can slap that brick-shitting, ungrateful robot. My slight anger has resulted in me throwing dirt wildly. This is unbeknownst to me, but not to Fry.

"Leela, calm down." He shouts. I turn my head to him, he's covered in dirt.

"Oops, sorry, Fry." I apologize sheepishly and return to digging more carefully as he dusts himself off. I can't help but giggle.

"What?" He asks, finally smiling.

"Nothing." I resume my job as does Fry.

Actually it's funny that out of the entire Fry family, Phil, Fry's nephew, was the only successful, talented one. Maybe Fry was right, maybe it was that damn clover that gave him that charm to be such a one-man threat. I wonder to myself why Fry put the clover back. Why didn't he hang on to it? Maybe because Fry falters under success. He had all that money that time. He squandered it, let it go to his head, and then let Mom take it. Yeah, we know what went down, Fry is still oblivious to it. He was just happy Bender didn't take it and was more happy that Bender took him back in after he acted like such an ass.

My mind wonders back to our conversation on the ship on the way over here. It made me feel slightly better for the bitchy way I've been treating Fry lately, and for the selfish thoughts I've been having regarding him and Lars. Fry understood, he always does. He doesn't know how to hold a grudge. That is one thing he is great at; being a wonderful friend.

Fry tossed sod behind him and it landed on the stone. He stops and wipes sweat off his brow using the sleeve of his red jacket. We've gotten pretty far and deep. Suddenly I hear a clank, the metal of the shovel hitting the metal of another object.

"I think I've hit the casket. Horray!" I sigh relief.

"Alright!" Fry said happily.

We work quicker unearthing it. Finally we see the black of it coming through the brown dirt till it's uncovered. Fry climbs out of the hole and stands back. He has a lost look in his eyes. I know what he's feeling, it's natural.

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to, Fry. I'll handle it." I look up at him from down in the hole of the open grave.

"No, no. I'm fine." He assures. I cast him a questioning expression.

"Are you sure?"

He nods and hands me the crow bar. I take it and start to pry the lid open, soon I hear a loud pop and I raise the lid slowly. My heart is in my throat and I'm sure Fry feels more apprehensive than I do. To my shock, well not really, Bender looks well preserved. He hasn't substained any decay at all. The refossilization process did little damage to his human features. Fry leans over and inhales deeply and holds it for a couple of seconds, he turns and exhales out.

"How are we gonna do this?" He mumbles.

"I don't know, if we had a body bag, maybe I could convince them it was just some left over inheritance from my cheap-skate Grandmother." I suggest.

"But you don't have a cheap-skate Grandmother. Do you?"

"No, not to my knowledge, but the guards won't know that."

Fry nods and retrieves a folded up bag from the kit. He hands it to me and I unfold it. Shit, it's a body bag. I knew Bender was bound to have one of these somewhere in his possession.

"Wow, Fry. You sure are prepared." I commented stunned that he has thought this through. It must really be important to him. I concentrate on the task at hand of getting the body into the bag, and not the actually nature of such a macabre event. Fry nervously turns his head glancing down at me every once in a while.

"Hurry, Leela. We don't have much time."

"Almost got it. Don't worry, Fry. Bender would be proud." I stop and catch my breath before I zip up the bag.

"What about the giant hole? Shouldn't we fill it back in?" Fry asks.

"We should, but I am sorta tired and we can't leave Bender's body out too long. We need to get him home fast."

"Right." Fry looks around. "What about those guards?"

"If they become suspicious, let me handle them." I grab the bottom end of the bag. "Now let's get going."

I lift the bag halfway out of the hole. I reach for Fry's hand. He takes it and helps pull me out. I lift the bag on out of the hole and onto the ground. I grab the bottom and Fry takes the top end timidly as we begin to make our way to the front. Bender, even though in human form, is quiet heavy. It's proving to be a task.

"Careful, Leela. Don't drop him." Fry comes out randomly.

"Fry, he's dead. He won't feel a thing." I remind him. He looks at me strangely. "Sorry. I guess we still need to show the dead some respect." I don't think about my words.

"He won't be dead for long, Leela." Fry huffs.

"You're right. I'm sorry."

"S'ok." Fry smiles. The front is fast approaching. I see the guards on the horizon. We're there before I know it.

"Hold it, may we ask what's inside the bag?" One says, eyeing us suspiciously.

"Oh, it's just some cheap leftovers from her skating dead Mother." I hear the edgy delivery boy reply. I follow this statement with a slap to my forehead.

"Sorry, but we're going to need to check inside the bag." The other says. I really don't need this. I glare at him annoyed....

**

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Want more? 'Course you do. I'll finish up with Fry's P.O.V, next chapter. In earlier chapters I felt like I had made Leela such a bitch and I felt bad for it. I hope the last two made up for it, because I like Leela. And even though I don't like Fry/Leela together, I still want them to be friends. Anyways, I guess every girl has the right to have a bitchy moment. See you next chapter. XD.**


	11. Aching Doubts

**Sorry this took so damn long. I lost my muse. But I found him and tied him up to help me finish the rest of this. Thank you all for the wonderful reviews, they really mean a lot to me. And thank U to everyone else who is taking the time to read this, fave it, or put it on your alerts.**

**

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If Only;  
Chapter eleven/ 'Aching Doubts'  
Rated; T/ L**

(Fry's P.O.V)

I turn my head away and look around for a way out of the guards checking out the bag.

_'C'mon, Fry. Bender's depending on you, think.' _As I'm rubbing my head concentrating I hear Leela.

"H'yah." She screams, followed by the sound of boot meeting skull. I turn my head as she roundhouse kicks the guard and he lands on top of the other one out cold. She 'dusts' off her hands in triumph.

"Neat. But, uh, was that really necessary?" I reply, shrugging.

"I don't fell like explaining to them why we have our friend in a body bag. Now, come on." She lifts up the bottom end. I roll my eyes and grab the top.

We make our way out of the the graveyard without any further interruptions. Carrying Bender up the steps of the Planet Express ship is hard, especially on my legs.

"Almost there, Fry. Just a bit more." Leela is in front, lifting Bender and stepping up backwards. I'm thankful.

Once inside Leela wasted no time pulling up the steps and starting the ship. Shortly we were in space.

"Fry, sit down, he's gonna be fine." Leela looked back at me as I bent over the bag which held the body of my best friend.

I hesitated for a second, but took her advice and sat at my usual post. I am so damn anxious that it hurts when I breathe. I just wanna get home and get this thing started.

I find myself gazing over at Leela as she carefully guides the ship through space, her mind solely on not crashing us. I let out a sigh and redirect my eyes.

I feel like I'm being torn in two really.

My mind races to what to do when Bender is a robot again.

What to say...

I guess it's a bridge worth crossing when I get there.

Then, there's Leela. I have loved her since I first met her when I came to the future. I still do love her. I guess I always will.

It's just I've spent so long chasing her. Waiting patiently for the day she would genuinely love me back. The day she would want me too. I thought that day had come, but she only broke my heart again. Maybe it seems like I'm giving up too easily... but, Leela's right, we can't make it work. Leela's smart, she wouldn't say so if it weren't true, I guess.

I just have to trust her. At least she was honest with me. It's better to have her as a friend than not at all. I am just so tired of getting hurt.

Leela's one of the most wonderful friends I've ever had. Back in the twentieth century all my friends ever did was lie to me, steal from me, and leave me for dead...

I stop and blink, _'Okay that's basically Bender in a nutshell.. but that's beside the point.'_

I really don't know what to say to him when he wakes up. I wanna scream at him for doing this instead of just fucking telling me how the hell he felt.

It's not like Bender to not go after something he wanted... not just to take it.

But, I guess I have been shutting him out lately.

First I ran to the past using that damn time code. Damn it, now I wish I still had that thing.

To my credit I was being shot at... and Bender was trying to terminate me.

But, none of us tried to save him from being under the evil control of those naked doofus aliens. I'm sure Professor could've removed the virus from Bender's hard drive.

Then I met Colleen and I was so buried in her. _'Love makes people so stupid.'_

I folded my arms. _'So very stupid', _I glared down at the form under the black body bag.

I never knew how much it meant to someone to just sit on a crummy piece of shit couch and watch Elzar cook slugs.

Then there was Yivo.. I should've knew something was eating Bender when he begged to go with me... Bender knew he'd be destroyed as soon as he went through the anomaly. What was he thinking?

Bender has been suicidal before, the big baby... but, it was like if he could of spent one more moment with me it would have been worth dying.

I left him alone. And he came and got me. And then I got wrapped up with Leela.

And now, I may have lost him forever... My heart clinched at that piece of info.

Oh God, what if the machine fails?

What if I have lost him forever?

What if Leela was right?

I put my head in my hands, I don't notice Leela looking at me with a worried expression.

"Fry?" She says, anxiety in her voice. "It's gonna be all right... we're almost there..."

"What if you're right?" I ask scared.

"About what?" Her eyes dart from the outside openness of space, and back to me.

"What if it don't work?" I look back up at her.

She takes a minute, probably trying to come up with a logical answer. All that did was make me more nauseous.

"Professor's smart, Fry. It has to work."

"But, what you said... the defossile machine-thingy killed him in the first place..."

"Fry, I was just... I'm sorry I ever said that, okay. Bender didn't have all the right parts to be human. But he does to be a robot. So, this has to work. And Professor has Bender's files on back-up, I think. We'll have him back, Fry. But you have to believe that, you can't lose hope."

I look up at her. I sigh, "God, I hope you're right."

"Don't talk like that.. you.. you can't give up now.. you never have before, why even entertain the thought of starting now? Besides, you're the guy who climbed a mountain, locked up some monks and spent days looking for Bender while he was drifting through space. That situation was hopeless, but you never gave up then, damn it... you can't now."

"You're right.. It has to work." I leaned back. I sat quietly through out the rest of the trip, which felt like days. It was the longest ride of my life.

I tried to think positive, and let my mind go over all the things Leela had said. But if this fails, then I lose.

I loose Bender for good. And I know in my heart that I'll never have Leela's love returned.

I'm alone.

Leela's a terrific friend.. but, she doesn't see me, or understand me like he does.

God, I wish I'd seen it sooner.

--xx--

Ten minutes later; The ship landed in the hanger. I am as anxious as I've ever been. I can feel my heart rising in my throat, choking me with every beat.

I just wanna see him again. Hear him again. I even miss him stealing my wallet.

Leela helps me carry Bender's human body concealed in the black bag down the ship's steps and to the downstairs laboratory.

"Oh my, you're back..." Professor greets us, "We must hurry for if Bender's body is exposed to the air too long he'll surely decompose and there'll be nothing left, oh my, no."

He is such a good reassurer. Take last thing with sarcasm.. or, is it irony? No.. sarcasm.

"Professor, is the machine ready?" Leela asked snapping me from my thoughts.

"The wha... Ohh, the machine? I call it the reverse reverse fossilization machine. See in reverse fossilization mineral turns to flesh and bone, realizing this; all I had to do was reverse the process." Professor proclaimed proudly. Ow, my head.

"So, flesh and bone turns to mineral?" Leela asked, her eye raised.

"Precisely." The old man beamed. He was so proud.

"But, isn't that regular fossilization?" Leela's eye raised higher.

"Err.. wha..?" Professor looked confused now.

"Never mind, is it finished?" Leela sighed.

"But, of course. Let's get Bender's body on the gurney, quickly now, we haven't much time."

I stare at my nephew confused, my head hurting, my heart pounding. I hope this works.

Leela, with the reluctant help of Amy, begins the task of removing Bender's body from the bag and getting it up on the table. They strap my best friend's cold, lifeless, pale body to the table.

"Here we go." Professor warns as he pulls a switch that looks like it belongs in a Frankenstein movie.

The room becomes transfixed in a blue and purple-ish, electric glow. I felt a tingling sensation pierce me as I hear satic buzzing in my ears drowning out my prayers.

_'Please, God, please, let this work.'_

My heart raced, beating in my chest so hard I'm positive I'll be sore from it. I feel tears as they begin to sting my eyes. I've never felt so damn nervous, so nauseous.

My eyes dart around the room noticing the apprehension on Leela's face, scientific ecstasy on the Professor's, and fascination on Amy's. But, I am filled with fear. Sheer terror.

I hear a cracking sound. Bones and flesh becoming metal as I see Bender's human form transforming into a robot body once again.

The buzzing starts to wind down and the glow dims and Professor pulls the switch.

"There, it is complete." He announces adjusting his thick glasses.

All is silent. My heart is aching and twisting itself in knots as well as my stomach. Everyone else is as frozen as I am. Waiting and watching. I swallowed, it sounds as loud as if someone dropped a piano.

Bender is a robot again, but is still. His eyeplate is closed. There is no sound except for my heart.

"Do you think you'll have to reboot him, Professor?" Leela's voice breaks the silence.

"Let's just give him a second, Leela." Farnsworth holds her back with one hand in a 'stand back' gesture.

A second passed. Then two. My lungs are aching.

Three, four, and then Bender's eyeplate raises up and I see his eyes move around the room.

I let out the breath I was unaware I was holding. So, that's why my lungs were aching?

Then, Bender sits up...

**

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Sorry, to end it here ;) I am like super addicted to cliff-hangers. But, don't worry. The next chapter will be done in Bender's POV. Yay!**

**Special thank you's; Nova Mist, Desdemona Kakalose, tomboyishgirl108-- Bender's way better than Colleen or Michelle, XD. marilynmanson1990, Sacharissa Lupin, KnucklesRedFury207.2-- the Fry becoming a robot thing actually intriques me, but I'm pretty sure that by this story's stand-points, it'd kill him, lol. medusa750-- I can't much stand the Fry/Leela they try and push either, I like them better as friends. Leela's very protective of Fry, kinda like the big sister he never had. I mean you've seen his parents on the show and how unobservant they are of things, he needs someone to look after him. Flavia Sparrow-- I'm glad you like my story even though you don't like FryxBender. But remember, curiousity killed the cat, and it got me into 'slash'. I actually sorta tried to answer the thing you said about Fry giving up easily on Leela. I hope it sorta explained it. Fry is lonely and confused and heartbroken over the fact that Leela may never return his love. Bender does love him and Fry's curious. If he follows this and it works he may be happy. If he ignores it and continues chasing Leela, he may loose Bender forever. Either way, I want to dive more into that later. The whole Bender/Fry/Leela thing in the show, and in slash fanfics is basically like a 3-way anyway. In their own twisted ways, they all love each other. See ya next chapter. If anything is spelled wrong, I apologize.**


	12. The Truth

**Thank U to all my readers. And wow, this took a long ass time! But, I decided to revamp the whole thing and revise it. It's the same story, just with slight editing in my style. marilynmanson1990, cliffhangers are evil apparently, lol. KnucklesRedFury207.2, thank you, read on, XD. medusa750, thank you, XD. thefullmetalAlchemistcayla, awe, thank you. Nova Mist, I hope you didn't explode :P Driip, thnx. BwaBB was incredibly slashy. And no, I never planned on leaving it. LifeMattersDoesntIt, hehe, glad you like it, XD. IchigoPudding, from chps 1-11, well, it became Fry/Bender. Hehe, sorry I made you cry. Yes, these people are strange, but that's not my fault really. Thank you, everyone! XD! **

**

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If Only;  
Chapter twelve/ 'The Truth'  
Rated; T/ L**

(Bender's POV)

I look around.

"Did it work, Professor?" I asked, looking down at my arms, seeing metal, "Ohhh..." I must admit I am not impressed.

"Bender, don't you remember?" Leela asked. I see Big Boots with that usual look of displeasure on her face.

"Remember what?" I asked slowly, I glance over at Fry to see he has tears in his eyes.

"You died in human form." Leela replies.

"I di.. I died..? So, how did I get back this way?" I am a robot and I am confused. Why didn't this work? Awh, Professor's a scab artist.

Fry still hasn't taken his eyes off me.

"Fry." Leela simply replied.

"Fry?" My eyes darted from the cyclops back to Fry whose expression is hard to process.

"We convinced Professor to build this machine and dug you up." Fry's voice was shaky.

"Dug me up? I was buried?" I pondered. "Eh, well, it's not like it's the first time. D'you really rob my grave for me?"

"Uh-huh." Fry sounded nervous. His hands are clasped together in front of him and he just looks like a child. So innocent and pure.

"Don't you remember dying on the table, Bender?" Leela asked.

"Everybody, give Bender a minute, this has to be a lot to absorb." Professor spoke up.

"Especially since his dying words were that he loved Fry." Amy happily blurted out. I looked over and saw Leela blush. How did Amy know? She wasn't in the room when we started this project.

"I.. I told you?" I asked, my voice dropping.

Fry nodded, "Yeah.. you did."

"Uh, Professor, why don't we go work on that latest invention of yours in the Clamitorium." Leela offered.

"What invention? Who the hell are you?" Professor shouted in sudden irritation, before his demeanor changed all together. "No matter.. Leela, why don't you help me with my latest invention.. To the Clamitorium!" The old scientist shouted pointing his finger to the air and shuffling out of the room.

"Amy, let's leave them alone." Leela whispered as she pulled on the pink sleeve of Amy's.

Amy blinked at Leela like she had two eyes.

"Why?" And then she got it, "Oh. OH, yeah! Coming." The Martian nit-wit hurried off following behind Leela as they left. Alone.

"Fry, I..." I looked up at him, he had this angry look in his eyes.

"Why did you have to be so stupid? I nearly lost you forever." He scolded.

I briefly searched my memory files to remind me why I did what I did. Okay, now I know why he's upset.

"I didn't know how you'd take it. I couldn't do anything with you no how." I 'shrugged'.

"I don't give a shit about that, Bender. You're my best friend. I would have accepted you however, you didn't have to go try and change. Don't you ever do this to me again. You have no idea what you put me through." Fry said loudly, looking me dead in the eyes. He sounded so frustrated.

"I'm sorry, Fry." Is all I can muster.

Fry swallowed, then took a deep breath. "How do you really feel, Bender? Be honest with me. Like you were that day on the couch when you told me you'd miss me if I died. Tell me the truth, I need to hear it."

"I..." I don't know if I can.

"Do you love me, Bender?" Fry braved asking. That was a bold move, if I do say so myself.

I redirected my eyes. "Yes." I stared back up at him.

"Just like a pet?"

"No."

"Like a gorilla and a kitty? Like a human and a dog?" He inquired.

"No."

"Then how?"

"Like two humans... I am in love with you. Like you and Colleen, like you and Leela." I replied sadly, I averted my eyes. Afraid of what comes next, but it felt good to get it out at least.

I waited to hear the sound of the automatic door shutting behind Fry as he left me forever. But, that's not what I heard. I didn't hear anything.

I felt Fry grab my head as he took a slow breath. I looked over at him as he stared me in the eyes.

Fry wet his lips and said softly. "There is no me and Leela. Not anymore."

The next thing I felt was Fry pressing his lips against my mouth. He's actually kissing me! What if this isn't real? I am flooded with all these so-called emotions robots aren't supposed to have (take with large dose of sarcasm.) Shock, fear, hope, love. If I had a heart, it'd be racing. But, whatever that thing is that keeps me alive, has sped up to ninety. I'm not so sure what it's called at the moment. I'm not sure what my name is either. I think it starts with a 'B'.

I just close eyes taking it in. The feel of the warm human's lips is so wonderful. I risk wrapping my arms around Fry's mid-section and pulling him closer to me. I relax when he doesn't resist.

Fry pulls back and stares into my eyes, resting his forehead against mine. His hands move up further on my head just holding it.

"Don't you ever do that to me again. I can't lose you again, Bender." He sighed softly. "I love you."

Did I hear him correctly? Did he just say he loves me?

"You..."

"I love you too.. I'm sorry I never saw it before... but I'm not going anywhere ever again." Fry promises.

"I love you, Fry." I whispered.

And Fry presses his lips to mine again and I can feel the human's heart beating in his chest. His arms are wrapped around me and I hold to him just tightly enough. My human. I sighed. My Fry. Sure, there's voices in the back of my programming telling me this is so not macho. But, they can go rot in Robot Hell. I nearly lost Fry once. I won't do it again.

--xx--

(Leela's POV)

I stand in the doorway, smiling at the heartfelt moment that is taking place before me. Fry is clutching tightly to Bender, and Bender has his arms wrapped around Fry's waist. Maybe it's odd for Bender to show any form of emotion and not seem totally heartless. But, hey, he found someone he loved. Love has this irritating way of softening up people.. and I guess, robots as well.

"Aw, they're so sweet." Amy squeals in a whisper. She's standing beside me laying her head on my shoulder. Her nose is scrunched up as she is smiling. And it may have not happened had I not of told Amy what happened the day Bender died and she just blurted it out randomly. I swore the Martian to secrecy, but she never minds. Spoiled brat.

She's really a sweet girl, once you get passed her rich snobby phasod. But, I think most of the time she just does that because she's naive. Shallow, but naive.

"Yeah.." I sighed. "It really is."

Me and Amy turned around at the same time and leave the new couple behind.

"It's about time, y'know?" Amy stopped. "Sorry about you and Fry though." She added.

"It's okay, Amy. It was kinda like dating my brother." I didn't catch that one. "If I had a brother, that is."

Amy blinked, looking up at me. She didn't catch it. I laughed and threw my arm around her shoulders and guided her along.

"C'mon, let's go get a drink." I offered, being friendly.

"But, I thought you said you didn't get paid today, Leela." She pointed out.

"I never said they were on me."

Amy stopped as I continued on out. "Hey!" She huffed.

--xx--

(Bender's POV)

Fry laid beside me in his bed. The red-headed delivery boy had his arm draped across my metal chest. He looked up at me, staring into my eyes.

I know that look. He has something on his mind.

"Bender, I need to ask you something. Don't get mad." He utters.

I rolled my eyes. "I won't get mad, Fry. What is it?"

"Do robots dream?" He asked curiously.

I rolled my eyes up to the ceiling and pondered.

"Nope. Not anymore."

The human beside me gazed down, looking all pouty. "Oh." He murmured. I can detect a hint of disappointment in him and it's so cute.

I reach over and gently raised his chin up to me. "I have everything I've ever dreamed about now that I have you."

Fry smirked at my cheesy little line and leaned up to kiss me gently before snuggling himself closer against me.

Fry sighed in a tone that I detected as happily and I watched him as he began dosing off into slumber. I smiled and slowly closed my eyeplate. Thinking before I dived into sleep mode; I'm happy. I have the man of my dreams.

--xx--

(Writer's Narrative)

Nibbler approached the Planet Express Building. He was none too happy about recent transpirings. The recent transmissions from Earth bared terrible, terrible news.. News which forced him to call forth to the skies that they were doomed.. doomed.. DOOMED!

The little Nibblonian went through the doggy door and entered the hanger.

Hermes was busy with forms as usual. Professor was tightening something on an invention. Leela was drinking coffee and reading a newspaper. Amy was checking her make-up for only the gazillionth time and Zoidberg was in back in his usual dumpster, not really giving a damn about anything other than the moldy cheese sandwich he'd been ever so lucky to find-- hint sarcasm.

Fry was siting with his chair sitting too close to Bender's, his arm laced in the automaton's and his head laying on Bender's shoulder as the robot casually puffed away on his cigar. They were just enjoying one another's company, not doing harm. They were totally oblivious to everyone else...

But everyone else wasn't totally oblivious to them... Not like they paid attention before. Why start now?

Leela gazed down at the Nibblonian as he processed the robosexual pair.

"Nibbler!" She shouted, bumfuzzled. "You're.. You're back!"

Nibbler ignored the cyclops and continued glaring at Fry and Bender. Something wasn't right.

**The End?**

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**I've had shit loads of fun with this. (sighs) But sorry, my fiends, this was the last chp :( Okay, yeah. I know it's short and end on a cliffie, but I may have a sequel sometime in the near future ;) **

**Aw, Fry wuvs Bender! XD! Yeah, I dun care about if it would fit or not or if it's AU, OOC, whatever. It's just fanfiction. In my world, Fry is better off with Bender. And if Fry does officially get with Leela-- I saw 'Into the Wild Green Yonder', I know what happens at the end-- and she tries to take Fry away from him.. well, you saw what he tried to do to Yivo... Just saying :P Hehe. I don't support Fry/Leela, lol. Oh, wellz. Imma proud slasher and I just can't help that! Thank you, everyone who supported this-- read, reviewed, faved, alerted, and was patiently waiting to see the conclusion. XD. Y'guys rock!**


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